Can you escape the office?
Dear Dr. Lyle Donson,
I regret to inform you that your faculty contract to serve at Bonbordia University is terminated, effective immediately. The severity of the grievances you have caused, in addition to the sheer number of them, has given us no other option.
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Please leave campus immediately and contact the HR office if you have any questions. A restraining order is in the works.
If you don't have anyone to do it with, you can just pick a time slot and do it with other new people who also signed up for that timeslot.